Correspondence School

 

          Something I learned when reading the second half of “I Love I Hate I Miss My Sister” – there is always correspondence school. Sohane barely gets through the school day that she decided to wear a scarf on her head. The teachers will not let Sohane come to class and she ends up in the library for most of the day. The school takes the side of the law that states religious items are not allowed, including head coverings. This time, instead of Sohane taking care of her little sister, Djelila takes care of her big sister. Djelila visits Sohane at the library and brings her food. On the way to school, Djelila sat with Sohane the entire ride instead of socializing with her friends.

            After school, Sohane and Djelila meet to go see their grandmother, Hana. This is Hana’s first direct appearance in the story. I wasn’t sure what to expect since there seemed to be all sorts of opinions and worries. When it came down to it, though, Hana and her friends (she had several over) seemed to be enjoying life. They literally were singing and dancing and laughing. If anyone found a way to be herself in the story, Hana did.

                When the sisters return home, it is time to deal with the issue of Sohane and school. Sohane has already decided that she will earn her diploma through correspondence school. Sohane’s dad is supportive and writes out the check after Sohane figures out the cost. Sohane’s mom leans more towards Sohane staying where she is and not wearing the scarf. I found it interesting how supportive the dad was over the mom. It seems the conflict in the story comes from trying to be yourself, and what happens when that expression of yourself conflicts with others who are or believe they are in authority. As far as how Sohane and Djelila grew up, their parents seem to allow the personal expressions, within certain guidelines.

            I am looking forward to discussing with the rest of the literature circle and figuring out what we are going to present.

Partitions

            This week, we began reading our literature circle book choice. All the books have a Muslim or Muslim/American theme. My group is reading “I Love I Hate I Miss My Sister. by Amelie Sarn. In the first half of the book, the narrator, Sohane, goes back and forth between what is presently happening and the events that led up to everything. The relationship with her sister Djelila has always been close. They share a room. They leave together and ride the bus to school. They are close in age. Even when they disagree, they seem to find their way back to a close relationship.

            I found the use of the idea of “partitions” most interesting. Sohane wrote about having one identity at home for the family, one for school and friends, and those not aligning to who you really are. Both of the sisters are trying to figure out who they are, and they express this in different ways. Djelila is social and on the basketball team and does not wear traditional Muslim head coverings and she is not interested in anything religious even after growing up that way. Sohane is more conservative and wants her identity to include the tie to her religion and decides to start wearing a head scarf. The question is, knowing that all the personality partitions exist, what will happen when you want to be yourself? In Djelila’s case, she is watched by a group of guys who are not in favor of what she does and eventually she is killed. Right before that, when Djelila questions her uncle, it is seen as disrespect. Djelila gets out of that situation when her mother claims Djelila seems sick and should go to bed. What I wonder is how this works in general. Do you feel like your life is partitioned similarly? That, for example, when you are with family you must act one way yet it can be different at work or around friends? What is an example and how do you feel about it?

The Real Secret

            Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe has been an awesome read. Although narrated by Ari, the reader still gets a good sense of Dante’s perspective through the dialogue. What I found interesting is that Dante knows he likes boys, yet he is ashamed to tell his parents. Dante’s parents are supportive of anything involving Dante, and that is still true when they find out he is gay. On the flip side, Ari’s secret seems to be from himself. The entire time Ari and Dante have known each other it has been love. In Ari’s case, it takes his parents, and a family meeting, to convince him to “come out.” Ari’s parents are especially supportive because of a close aunt who happened to like girls. Ari’s aunt lived with her partner until death. Ari’s mom commented that her aunt taught her a lot. I think Ari’s mom knew early in the story that Ari and Dante had more than a “best friend” relationship.

           

I’m going to switch to the idea of “coming out.” In a story, such as this book, “coming out” has to do with expressing sexual orientation, such as being gay. After reading the book and participating in a class discussion on Tuesday, I have a different thought. An expansion, really. A quote from the book sums it up well “The problem with my life was that it was someone else’s idea.” It is hard to get past what others want, especially while growing up. Sometimes one is lucky enough to find a new path in college or once you can leave home. If and when you do that, whatever the age, I would say that is also “coming out,” in the sense that you are finding out what you like and who you are. I realized how much I was still under people’s and certain society’s expectations when I began to live on my own. One of my professors unraveled those expectations even more in a business class and follow-up discussions. Now, as I get ready to graduate, I feel like the new puzzle pieces can be put together and the “Stacy B” picture will appear. Ari mentions something about adults always changing. Yes. So, come out, be yourself, and let’s all see where that takes us. 

Explorations

            Ari and Dante. Dante and Ari. They still manage to maintain their friendship even with the distance. Dante has moved to Chicago because his dad has a job for eight months. Most of their communications are through letters. According to Dante, it is a 7 to 1 ratio – for every seven letters that Dante sends to Ari, Ari writes and sends one. What Dante writes about most is how he is exploring. I’m not sure if he does it because he wants to or because that is what teenagers are supposed to do. He tried beer, for example. Dante also states that he kissed a girl, and that he is more interested in kissing boys. Ari decides to follow Dante’s example with both beer and kissing girls, and he begins to hang out more with a couple of female friends who he has known for a long time. Ari’s opinions of the two friends are not that high, but that seems to be ok. The most important event for Ari is getting his driver’s license. Ari’s parents buy him an old pickup truck, and Ari could not be happier. By the end of this second section of the story, although the two boys are not together, they are each finding their own ways to things. Ari also has a job. Flipping burgers to earn money may not seem great yet it is a freedom for Ari.

           

Towards the end, Dante’s letters are about wanting to kiss Ari, which Ari does not directly respond to at this point. Ari reflects on all the ideas that Dante presents in his letters or conversations. At first, he has a girl who he thinks about and she kisses and flirts with Ari, even though she has a boyfriend. When he finds out she disappeared because she is pregnant and had to get married, he wonders about the entire situation and his actual feelings, wondering if he is more like Dante.

            I don’t have much to reflect on this because I feel like the meat of the story is still coming. We are not scheduled to finish the book until after we return from spring break in another week. I do like that the boys write to each other and the actions match their characteristics. It is not surprising, for example, that Dante writes more often than Ari. Even with the distance, they are still learning from each other and it makes me wonder what will happen when they reunite in person again. Are they “just friends,” or will they both be exploring more with each other?

Learning to Swim

 

          The class is finally reading the book I have been most curious about since knowing the title, “Aristotle and DanteDiscover the Secrets of the Universe,” by Benjamin Alire Saenz. Although I probably could read more of it at a time, we are reading it slower than the last few books. It is a little bit denser and longer, and there is a lot going on.

            Aristotle, known as Ari, and Dante are both Mexican-American by birth, and you only know that because they talk about it, and about their family differences. Aristotle knows more about the culture than Dante. Dante seems to know more about general life. They meet one summer when Dante offers to teach Ari how to swim. Ari had been trying to learn how to swim by himself since 15 is an odd age to be taught by the teenage lifeguards. As the story progresses, the reader learns more about each of the two boys and their parents. Since Ari is narrating, his accounts include first person conversations with his mom. Dante is Ari’s only friend, which for some reason Aristotle’s mom decides to blow off as a fact. Ari’s mom makes a comment about Ari not having any friends, even when Dante is mentioned..

           

Part of what the two are trying to figure out is how things work. In Ari’s case, he is trying to find out more about his dad. Ari also wants to know why no one talks about his brother, and why there are no pictures, as if the brother never existed. It is interesting that Ari’s siblings are so much older. His twin sisters are 27 and he is 15. The brother no one talks about is 25. In-between, Ari’s dad served in Vietnam, and Ari’s mom completed college with a teaching degree. The reader learns about all of these facts when Ari thinks about it or when Dante is able to get Ari to talk about his thoughts. I know that many who served in Vietnam do not like to talk about it, but it makes me wonder if that is the only reason Ari’s dad is quiet. Even his mom does not know why her husband hurts, and it seems like she would know more. What I have found most interesting is that each of the two boys thinks that they do not fit in the world and that they are alone. When they discuss that fact then they each feel a little bit better, at least during their time together. Learning to swim is not only literal, it is figuratively what the boys are learning through their relationship with each other. They each have skills or knowledge that fills in a gap for the other. The story feels real, in that sense.